Carl Jung wrote:
One of the most difficult tasks men can perform, however much others may despise it, is the invention of good games; and it cannot be done by men out of touch with their instinctive selves.
The key clause here is the last one. I have been blessed from an early age with an awareness of my deeper, more animal instincts. I recall during high school joking with friends about a proper TV dinner. These were metal foil trays containing a small three-course meal; you placed one in the oven for 30 minutes, then opened it up and consumed it as you watched television. They were gastronomic abominations, but they were quick and easy. The microwave oven sent them to their well-deserved hell. My joke was that a proper one would leap out of the oven snarling, and that you would be required to chase it all over the house before trapping it and stabbing it repeatedly with your knife. Only then could you consume your meal.
For the last month, I have been creatively paralyzed. Even though I had a clearly defined worklist for LMD, I simply couldn’t bring myself to work on it. Every time my Disciplined Chris would demand that I get to work on it, a vague unshaped Chris would obstruct my efforts. I just couldn’t get anything done. There were always a plethora of other tasks to tackle, so I busied myself with them, feeling increasingly guilty with each passing day.
Last night was difficult; I tossed and turned for an hour, then fell into a deep sleep with vivid dreams. Then I woke with a headache and could not get back to sleep. I had some hot chocolate, then back to bed where I fell into another deep sleep with more vivid dreaming. I woke with the word “Ekwesh” on my mind — it’s the name of one of the Sea Peoples who helped bring the Bronze Age in the Eastern Mediterranean to an end. But I also awoke with a deeper idea: the key element that I have failed to include in Le Morte D’Arthur. I’ll not reveal it here; I might be wrong. But the creative paralysis of the last month has dissolved. We shall see if this idea really works.